Meant To Be
by laugh2live2012
Summary: Jacob is forced to leave the most important person in his life. He struggles to go on with his life, to make something of himself. He knows that one day he'll see her again, whether Edward likes it or not. Constructive reviews appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

Jacob's Story

_Looking back later, I realized it had truly been the happiest I had ever been. So, stupidly, I settled into enjoy it instead of remaining vigilant, watching for whatever was going to happen to screw it all up. Something always does, you see. _

Having gone through my own personal hell in the months leading up to that moment, I was completely unprepared for how happy the birth of one tiny little baby would make me. Sure, I had to get past that first 'gonna-go-downstairs-and-kill-it' reaction that immediately filled my head after seeing my former best friend and unrequited love interest die a gruesome and devastating death, but _after that_…. Yep, one look into those gorgeous brown eyes and I was hooked. Literally, I imprinted and felt the sensation of a million steel cables clamping onto me, connecting me eternally and inextricably to the new center of my world. In that instant, I knew why I'd had to go through everything I had to get to this point. She was the new center of my world, the force behind every beat of my heart, and the one being I would, without question, kill or die for. I finally knew and understood what love was.

After some initial awkwardness (Ed and Bella both wanting to kill me, for example), the Cullens accepted my imprint, knowing that I would care for Nessie like no other, that I would gladly give my life for her, and that I would always be just exactly what she needed me to be, no more and no less. I spent everyday caring for her. At first, holding and rocking her, feeding her and changing diapers, reading her stories and letting her amaze me with her gift for showing her thoughts. As she grew, so did my role in her life. I spent my days making blanket forts in her room, attending tea parties with her aunts, coaxing her to hunt and drink animal blood when no one else could, and being the best friend she needed in her overly protective family. I so completely devoted myself to that little girl, neglecting my family, my pack and pretty much anything else, that I missed some signs I should have seen. Things like Bella's increasing grumbling that Nessie enjoyed wrestling in the woods with me more than cooking lessons with her, or Edwards displeasure with how I included Nessie in our pack football games on First Beach and let her drive my car on back roads. No matter how irritated Edward or Bella got though, I never ever imagined that they would do to me what they did.

Current Day

**EPOV**

"Alice, Rosalie – almost ready to go?" I asked, for the 2nd time that morning. Of course, we were waiting on those two to finish getting dressed, intent as they always were to make a big impact at the new school we were starting today. It would be nice just once to be able to blend in and not be the subject of every other student's thoughts and conversations every time we had to go through this. However, with us being who, and more importantly what we were, that was not to happen. My sister's attitude seemed to be 'if you can't change it, might as well have fun with it'.

They finally descended from their rooms, dressed more appropriately for fashion week in Milan than for starting school in the sleepy little northern Wisconsin town we'd settled in. I cringed in anticipation of the stares and comments we were soon to be subjected to.

"Relax, Edward…we've been through this a time or two. We won't be late", Alice admonished, giving Rosalie a knowing grin.

"Renesmee, sweetie, you look lovely" I cooed to my daughter, trying to quell the anxiety she was feeling at attending school with us for the first time, her first time really being out in the world away from our protective bubble. She had begged for the chance to go, now that her rapid aging had stopped and she would forever look as she did now, a breathtakingly beautiful 17 year old woman. Ugh, it felt wrong, repulsive even to be using that word about my little girl who had only been with us for 8 short years. However, that was what she was; a woman with the physical presence of a teenager and the intellect of someone with several advanced degrees.

"Thanks, dad", she replied quietly. Although she'd been practicing for the last few years on how to hide her thoughts from me, with help from her mother, I thought unhappily, it didn't take a mind reader to realize she was worried. Having finally acquiesced to her pleas to be treated like the adult she mentally was and be allowed some freedom, I could see she was now rethinking her decision.

"I saw you didn't eat much of the breakfast Esme made you, aren't you hungry this morning?" I asked her. She just shook her head, holding her stomach lightly.

"Have you at least hunted lately?"

"Yes, Uncle Jasper took me out last night while you and mom were in town".

"Ok, it looks like everyone is ready, should we go?"

Bella, Renesmee and I headed outside where Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett had already congregated; bickering over which vehicles we would be going in. Of course, Rosalie wanted to take the bright red Ferrari, the showiest vehicle in the garage. 'Way to try blending in', I thought.

Not to be deterred (when did she ever _not_ get her way?), Rose and Emmett left on their own. The rest of us piled into Bella's slightly more subdued Cadillac Escalade and started down the driveway. I felt Jasper sending out some calming waves toward Renesmee, and I flashed him a grateful look in the rearview mirror. He smiled back and said "So, darlin', what are you thinking about this morning, you're awful quiet".

Renesmee just shrugged and muttered that she was worried about slipping up in front of anyone. The truth was, she was pretty quiet all the time now. She rarely shared her thoughts without being asked for them, and seemed to prefer solitary activities like reading, music and writing her stories. Not that she was antisocial, she would happily participate in family activities when asked, and enjoyed days spent shopping, going to movies and hanging out with her mother and aunts. But when left to her own devices, she usually chose solitude. Not at all like the little girl she used to be a few years back, when her endless curiosity and unquenchable spirit seemed to radiate from her, when she kept up an almost constant stream of comments and questions about the world around her, amusing us all with her observations. Deep down, I had an idea why things had changed, thought I'd never admit it to anyone, much less myself, really. Instead, I vowed every day to do everything I could to give her the best, most fulfilled life I could. We visited museums, attended symphonies, soaked up as much culture as possible in all the places we'd lived and read and discussed all the great pieces of literature in Carlisle's massive library. She could play numerous instruments to perfection, and spoke 5 languages fluently. Yet the spark she once had never flickered quite as brightly any more.

"Ok, we're almost there, let's go over our story one last time" I prompted. Renesmee caught my eye, and with a little sigh and the slightest of eye rolls, she began reciting.

"You and I are siblings, adopted by our uncle Carlisle when our parents were killed in a car accident. Jasper and Rosalie are Esme's niece and nephew, adopted last year when her sister died of breast cancer. Mom moved in because her mother was being treated by Carlisle and passed away – he knew she had no other relatives and filed papers to become her guardian. Alice and Emmett were adopted through the foster care system because they were getting too old to be adoptable and the social worker knew of Carlisle and Esme, knew they were good people and would open their arms to them". Remembering the story isn't the part I'm worried about, dad…. What I'm concerned about is being around all those other kids, wondering if they realize how different I am. What if I can't make any friends? What if I let something slip?"

"Just try to relax, honey…I know you're nervous and that's perfectly normal. Remember that you know how to do this and that everything will be fine. You're kind and loving and so sweet…people will realize that and want to be your friend, just you wait and see".

"I hope so", she muttered, almost silently.

**BPOV**

All morning I could tell that Renesmee was anxious. I knew that starting school out in the world for the first time would be distressing for her, how could it not? We'd kept her essentially isolated for nearly all of her short life, homeschooling her in every conceivable subject till she was as well-versed as Edward himself. Occasional trips out into the community, shopping, spa days and the like were fun for her, but all they really did was underscore just how much actual living she was missing out on. After all we'd been through since her birth, I understood the obvious dangers in exposing her to humans before she was ready, and even agreed with Edward to a point in his obsessive need to keep her safe. I knew that keeping her safe wasn't his only motive however, though he would never acknowledge any deeper objectives. I knew how it pained him that her time as a child was so short, but couldn't understand how he didn't realize that every minute we had with her was a miracle, and that at some point, we'd have to let her go to live her own life. Though our intentions were nothing but loving, deep down I feared the damage we may have done through some of the decisions we made, all the while telling ourselves that they were in her best interests.

**RPOV**

I sat in the car, half listening to my parents and aunt and uncle discussing the new school and half wondering if I'd really be able to be successful there. I was entering school as a junior, since I looked like I was 17 or 18 years old and Carlisle felt I couldn't reasonably pass for younger. Alice would also be a junior with me, so that I could have someone in most of my classes with me, and everyone else would be a senior. I knew the classwork would be a breeze because of my extensive home schooling, but the social aspect scared me to death, well, scared me a lot anyway… I really had no idea how to interact with kids this age. I felt like I was about to take the most important test of my life and hadn't been given the right material to study. I also knew that a lot was riding on this particular adventure we were embarking upon. As usual, no one actually told me anything, but I'd overheard enough snippets of conversations between dad and grandpa to know that we wouldn't be able to move again for awhile and that it was imperative that we fit in and not make any waves in school or our community. As usual, the reasons for this were a mystery to me, but I could pick up on enough to grasp that it was really serious.

As excited as I thought I had been for this day, if I was really being honest with myself, I'd admit that it was just a desire for something new in my life that pushed me to want to go. Something to quash the sense of emptiness that was ever present in my life. It wasn't anything I ever spoke of, no one would understand anyway, but the ache was always there. Part of me remembered when it wasn't, but that was also something that wasn't spoken of in our house. I knew my family well enough to know that anything unpleasant or deemed 'unnecessary to trouble me with' was quickly dispensed with - subject changed, Renesmee distracted, other activities planned, every time. It had happened enough that no matter the suspiciously pitying looks I caught now and then from Aunt Alice or Uncle Emmet or how old I actually was now, I resigned myself to the way things were.

I'd never had a problem being around humans as far as my thirst went; I had been hunting animals since I was a few weeks old, and never craved human blood. Plus, I ate most human foods, and could go nearly a month between hunts before I really _needed_ to find some unsuspecting elk or mountain lion to sink my teeth into. I had no problem being around my Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Sue, and I'd been interacting with humans on all our vacations and day trips as long as I could remember.

Too soon, dad was announcing that we were here and reminding us to stick to our stories and make this work. As we stepped out of the truck and walked toward the office, I immediately felt unnerved by the obvious stares of our classmates. Mom and Aunt Alice put their hands on my shoulders and whispered comforting words to me, but I barely comprehended them. I was too focused on the butterflies in my stomach and the possible ramifications of vomiting on my shoes vs. running screaming in terror from the building. Unable to choose, I decided that neither would really be good, and resolved to make it through the day. I would say as little as possible and simply observe all that went on around me, kind of like a sociological experiment.

Dad thrust my schedule in my hand and informed me that I had at least one of us in every class throughout the day until gym, where he, mom, uncle Emmet and Aunt Rosalie were all with me. Even though they were seniors, the school that we were attending was so small that freshmen joined with sophomores, and juniors joined with seniors for gym.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Upon advice from a wonderful reviewer, I'm working on having fewer POV's per chapter – I already had the first few written, but I did go back and separate them out a bit, and the next ones I write will be single POV, even if they have to be shorter chapters. Also, this story feels like it's getting off to a slow start, but I feel like I have to set it up a bit first. Jacob will be making an appearance soon.**

**EPOV**

I accepted the class schedules from the harried secretary, explaining that our 'dad' couldn't leave work to be with us this morning. I distributed them to my daughter, wife and siblings and reminded everyone to be on their best behavior. I pretended not to see Emmett and Rosalie roll their eyes at me.

Already, my mind was being assaulted by the perverted thoughts of fellow students. Fighting the urge to growl at and possibly pummel some of the worst offenders, I grabbed Bella by the hand and hurried off to our first class.

I couldn't shake the ominous feeling I had developed since walking through the doors. I felt anxious, like something was about to happen. There was a lot of pressure on us right now to fly under the radar, so to speak, and not attract any undue attention. However, we'd certainly been in similar situations a time or two in the past, so I didn't think that was it. I tried to tell myself that I was just nervous for Renesmee, and tried to concentrate on the day ahead of me.

The first two classes of my day, English Lit and Advanced Chemistry weren't all that bad. Having Bella with me obviously helped, even though I was forced to listen to the perverted and at times graphic thoughts swirling around me.

"Um, Edward, you need to calm down." Bella whispered to me, gesturing toward the indent I'd made in the hard cover textbook I was holding. "We've been through this enough for you to realize that nothing anyone thinks or says makes a difference to me"

"I know, I know." I muttered back. I felt Bella's shield stretch into place then, as an amazing quiet settled over me. I smiled at her in appreciation. She winked back at me.

I couldn't wait for 3rd period, when I would have Renesmee in Music Theory with me. I saved her a spot and waited for her to arrive. The look on her face as she stepped lightly through the door told me that her day wasn't going as well as I'd hoped. Her face lit up briefly when she saw that I'd saved her a spot in the back next to me, but clouded back over a moment later.

In the few minutes we had before class started, I asked her how her morning had gone, but got little more than the basics out of her. She was also actively working at keeping me out of her head. We talked a little more about how Jasper made her laugh in French class 1st period, and how Emmett had to help get her locker unstuck, but I could tell she was deflecting. My little girl wasn't one to complain, but something was obviously bothering her. I decided to let it go for the time being, and try again at lunch or when we got home.

**RPOV**

OK, what's worse than overhearing a bunch of guys talking about how hot your mom was?

Oh, maybe walking into the bathroom and hearing a group of girls discussing various parts of your dad's anatomy.

Eeww.

I understand the whole 'vampire attraction – predator/prey thing', but hearing about it in detail was _**so **_not good for my psyche.

Aside from those disturbing experiences, my morning hadn't been all that bad. Starting out my day with Alice and Jasper in French class with me was nice – he helped me calm my mood and Alice and I had a good laugh, silently of course, at some of the mispronunciations by the teacher. By the end of class, I was feeling pretty confident about facing the rest of the day.

I met up with Emmett after class, which was good because my locker wouldn't open and his brute strength was just what I needed – unfortunately he broke the lock mechanism completely off. It doesn't show from the outside though, so I wasn't worried about it. I wasn't planning to keep much of value in there anyway. I walked with Emmett to our next class and, as I imagined, he kept me entertained throughout European History by giving me his rendition of the events we discussed.

I left to go onto 3rd period, promising to meet back with Emmett and everyone else for lunch afterward.

As I made my way downstairs toward the classroom, I picked up on a strange scent. It was familiar, but yet not…..It brought back a fuzzy recollection from my early childhood, and even though it wasn't exactly how I remembered, it was similar enough to cause a slow smile to cross my face. It quickly faded, however, when I realized how irrational it was to even recall that memory. It was made very clear to me that that part of my life was in the past, never to be revisited, and I'd made peace with the fact that it was just easier to go along with that.

Caught up in my head as I was, I lost track of where I was headed and asked a passing teacher how to get to the music room. She kindly pointed me to a room just down the hall, explaining it was just past the business and economics classroom I was standing in front of.

As I made my way, I quickly practiced the exercises my mom had taught me for blocking my thoughts. I didn't want my dad to have any idea what I had just been thinking about, knowing the constipated look that always crossed his face when I used to ask about that time in my life. I made my way into the room, determined once again to not let anything show.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - This chapter's a little shorter than the others….**

**BPOV**

Having been through this as many times as we have, I couldn't believe how upset Edward still got at the inner thoughts of the male student body. Not that I particularly enjoyed hearing the comments they whispered back and forth, but I no longer let it bother me. I'd also gotten better at ignoring the blatant passes girls made at Edward. I didn't like it, but his complete and utter rejection of them made it worth enduring.

By the time lunch came around, I couldn't wait to see Renesmee and the rest of my family again. I was anxious to hear about her day so far and bemoaned the fact that I didn't have any classes with her until the last 2 of the day, gym and economics.

I got down to the cafeteria and noticed that Alice and Jasper had already secured us a long table toward the back. I went into line and picked up a few random pieces of fruit and some yogurt that I thought Renesmee might enjoy and went to pay for them, keeping up appearances for the humans. I walked toward the table and saw Alice and Jasper deep in a nearly silent conversation. As I neared, they abruptly stopped, but not before I caught something about 'blind spots' from Alice. She looked up at me and smiled widely, asking me about my day so far. I gave her a look that said she wasn't fooling anybody, but she brushed it off and made it clear that her previous conversation was off limits.

As Edward, Renesmee, Rose and Emmett made their way to our table, the conversation turned to everyone's impressions of the school, and Alice joined in enthusiastically, eager to cast off any suspicions I had about her and Jasper's discussion.

Renesmee was slowly eating the yogurt I had gotten her, along with nibbling at the various foods the others had bought for appearance's sake and snuck over to her. She was fairly quiet, as usual, but did discuss some aspects of her classes so far.

I noticed Edward watching her closely with concern whenever he thought she wasn't looking. It seemed like he was trying to pick up on her thoughts, and I figured she was blocking them. I wondered why, and felt like something was a bit off with her. Knowing that she wouldn't want to discuss it here in front of everyone, I promised myself that we'd do something special tonight, just the two of us, and I'd get her to talk then.

Emmett seemed to pick up on her mood and started quizzing her on the various boys in her classes, asking if anyone had caught her eye yet and if he needed to have a talk with any of them while smirking wagging his eyebrows. Never knowing when to stop, he didn't seem to notice the grimace on her face as she rolled her eyes at him and looked down, shaking her head slowly. She didn't say a word in response, but the despondent look on her face spoke volumes. Emmett only amped up his attempts to get her to laugh or at least smile, and didn't stop till Edward's well placed smack upside his head made his neck snap around. Rose gave him another one on the other side of his head, and he finally hung his head sheepishly.

"You can be such an ass, Emmett" Rosalie hissed at him.

As the lunch bell rung, I kissed my daughter quickly on the forehead and assured her I'd be seeing her again in a couple hours. She smiled at me, though it didn't seem genuine. Edward noticed and gave me a sad smile as he took my hand and led me to our next class.


	4. Chapter 4

**RPOV**

As eager as I was to meet up with my family again, I was kind of relieved when lunchtime was over. Between my dad's silent inquisition and Emmett being a jackass, it was _not_ a relaxing experience. I felt Uncle Jasper trying to help, for which I was grateful, but even his emotional manipulation wasn't enough to settle my nerves completely.

And then there was Aunt Alice…. I felt her staring at me several times, but each time that I looked up, she would look away with a funny expression on her face. Quizzical? Pitying? Concerned? I couldn't tell, but it wasn't helping my nerves any. She jumped up as the bell rang and told me quickly that she'd meet Rose and me in our next class, as she had a quick stop to make beforehand. _Whatever._

As I walked down the hall with Rosalie to my 4th hour class, I thought for a moment that I caught that scent again. _This was too weird_. I looked up at Rose to see if she noticed anything unusual, but she was too engrossed in her running commentary to me about the lack of fashion sense in the Midwest. I did notice her nose wrinkle up for just a second, but she was off and running on another topic before I could ask about it.

I settled into my desk next to Rose and tried to focus on Calculus. I noticed the girl next to me trying to get my attention. When I looked up at her, she smiled quietly and told me her name was Olivia. I told her my name, Nessa Masen –to go along with our story, we couldn't all be Cullens - and asked her how her first day of school was going so far.

"Fine, but I'm super nervous about this class. My dad made me take it, but I'm gonna suck at it, I just know it." She told me with a sweet smile.

"It's not my favorite class either, but I'm not too bad at it. I'd be glad to help you out if you ever need it….." I offered, hesitantly.

She seemed genuinely grateful. We talked a little bit more until the bell rang, and she filled me in on some of the groups and cliques in the school.

She told me about the buzz my family created when we walked in this morning. It was a pretty small school in a very small town, so seeing so many new kids joining the school, especially all from one family was definitely gossip-worthy. She assured me that _most_ of the kids in this school were really nice, but that there were some bitchy girls who had already started talking about my family. She said she heard the first of the rumors about 15 minutes after we'd walked in this morning.

"Just great," I moaned.

"Oh, don't worry, it's not that bad….most people know not to pay much attention to what comes out of Diane or Patty's mouths. It'll die down soon when everyone gets to know you." She said, consolingly.

I went through our cover story with her, confident that before long, most of the student body would know. Maybe that would stop some of the guessing…

She invited me to hang out after school sometime with her and her two best friends Emma and Claudia so they could give me the scoop on the rest of the school and the places to hang out in town.

Rosalie gave me a warm smile as I turned around to pay attention to the teacher, obviously happy for me for making a friend. As class began, I realized that I'd just met my first same-age girlfriend, and I felt happy inside.


	5. Chapter 5

**EPOV**

As it turns out, Psychology of Human Sexuality was a much more enjoyable class when taken with the absolute love of your life. Even though we weren't technically human, the topic was a fun one and the class was sure to become one of my favorites this year. Plus, having multiple doctorate degrees in several areas of both psychology and medicine made it easy to zone out and focus instead on how pretty Bella's hair was when she pulled it all over one shoulder, and how much I loved when she caught me staring at her and gave me a wink and her little smile.

With everything going on in our lives at the moment, all the worrying we seemed to be doing lately, it was nice to relax for a little bit and have fun with my wife. We laughed to ourselves when the instructor went over the syllabus and mentioned that some of the discussions we'd be having would require a level of maturity, which was why the class was open to seniors only. He said he hoped there wouldn't be anyone juvenile enough to make a mockery of this very serious subject. We both looked at each other and mouthed "Emmett" at the same time, knowing he was taking the class during a different hour.

When the bell rang to signal the end of 4th period, Bella and I were up and out of our seats before anyone else and heading toward the door, eager to join our daughter and Rose and Em for gym class. I hoped against reason that Emmett would be able to keep himself in check this time around. Every time we had to endure a human gym class, there was always the chance that he would let his competitive nature get the better of him and forget to only use a small fraction of his strength and speed. Several times Jasper had had to nearly incapacitate him with waves of lethargy before he drew too much attention to himself.

The gym at Central High was nearly isolated from the rest of the school, connected only by one long hallway, with the boys and girls locker rooms at the end right before the double doors of the gymnasium. I escorted Bella to her door and went to my locker room to change.

Right before I passed through the door, I caught the faintest whiff of an unpleasant odor. I'd smelled it before at some point, I was sure of it. Before I could really consider the memory, I was nearly bowled over by my oaf of a brother running past me to change. The smell was immediately replaced by the rank locker room aromas of sweat and desperation usually associated with hormonal teenage boys with questionable hygiene practices. I shrugged the memory off and hurried to change and get back to Bella before she attracted too many admirers.

Em and I walked out to meet up with the girls. Sure enough, they were waiting outside the gym doors with a collection of losers around them, each trying to outdo the others with their not-so-witty banter and sub-par communication skills. I couldn't help but notice Rose soaking up the attention with a haughty smile on her face, while Bella showed more of a patient tolerance while she waited for us.

Renesmee seemed totally oblivious to the very obvious efforts of a couple of the boys. She smiled politely and responded when asked a question, but made no efforts to encourage them. I couldn't help the huge smile that spread over my face at the poor schmucks' expense.

We walked into the gym to stand behind the rest of the students who had congregated in front of a large portable chalkboard. As we waited for the gym teacher to join us, I heard a disturbance to my left as someone ran quickly into the small office and slammed the door. Even though it was fairly far away from me and the two men in the office were conversing in whispers, I could make out some of their words and thought I heard my name.

Puzzled, I tried to move closer and gestured for Bella to do the same so we could listen better. As if they knew we were trying to eavesdrop, the whispers dropped even lower, and became impossible to decipher. Bella gave me a questioning look and I decided to drop it before she said anything.

I entertained myself by coasting through the heads of the boys around me, making a mental list of who to go after the hardest should we be lucky enough to play dodge ball any time soon.

So caught up was I that I didn't realize the teacher had joined us at the front of the group until I heard the gasp of my wife, along with the string of profanities unleashed by Rose under her breath and Emmett's loud guffaw. I looked up to hear "Welcome to 6th period gym, I'll be your instructor for phy ed and health, I'm Coach Black."

I looked up and froze.

_**Excuse me, WHAT? This cannot be happening!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**JPOV**

So, I'm just about to go out and greet my 2nd to last class of the day when Seth comes barreling in my office, panting and spluttering for me to wait. I'm already wound up by this point, tired of listening to cocky, wannabe jocks strutting around trying to show each other up, not listening to a damn word I say. And the girls are worse, worried more about giggling and flirting with the boys (and me, if I'm being honest) than anything to do with physical fitness. I was not in the mood for whatever Seth was going mental about.

It occurs to me that I'm only in my 2nd year of teaching and shouldn't be this bad-tempered already, but I can't help it. In all fairness, I can barely remember the last time I wasn't on the edge of anger. Ok, I _can_ remember, but I don't allow myself to think about it anymore.

Back to Seth, he scared the shit out of me when he blasted through my office door, going on and on about how I 'can't go out there yet.' Once he calmed down, he looked downright freaked. He obviously had something important to tell me, but wasn't getting around to it.

"C'mon Seth, spit it out, I've only got 2 more hours left till I can go home, what's your problem?"

"Uh, Jake…I don't really know how to say this…"

"WHAT? Just say it already!"

"Ok, I was looking over my roster for next hour and I saw 'Nessa Masen', and that reminded me of her, ya know, 'cause it's a different kind of name, so I uh…looked over the list closer and…..and…. I saw Bella's name. It's them, Jake, they're here!"

"Knock it off, Seth. What the hell's wrong with you? You think that's funny or something? Get the fuck out of here."

"Jake, I'm **not** messing with you. Didn't you smell them? I've been smelling vamp all morning, but I had classes every hour and with all these kids around here, I couldn't do anything. But now, I smell them and I'm pretty sure Edward is standing out there"

"But….what…how…..wh…what would they be doing here?" I gasped. Even as I was saying the words, I felt myself slipping back, the memories I'd worked so hard to repress suddenly flooding my brain.

I slumped into my desk chair before I fell to the ground, my head in my hands. It all came back to me…

_She and I running through the meadow, trying to get our homemade kites to shoot into the air. The two of us hunting, Nessie riding on my furry back, leaping off at the last second to tackle an elk 10 times her size. Building a treehouse outside my dad's house, she could scurry up and down the tree with supplies quicker than a squirrel. All the 'dinners' I forced down with a huge smile on my face because she made them when she was first learning how to cook with Bella. The warmth of her hugs and the smile that would break out on her face every time she saw me. The amazement in her eyes each morning when I would be there like I promised her I would._

These happy memories flashed through my mind in an instant. When I looked up at Seth's sad, pitying smile, though, the other memories hit me like a brick….

_Edward telling me that we're spending too much time together, that she's neglecting her studies. Yelling at him that she's just a little girl, she should be out having fun, not studying ancient Greek. Bella complaining that I brought her home too late from a bonfire. The look of disgust on Rosalie's face when she would launch herself into my arms from halfway down the stairs. Edward scowling when Emmett joked about Nessie and I looking like an old married couple when we fell asleep on the couch watching a Disney flick._

And finally….

_Arriving at the cottage one morning to find Edward waiting outside for me, telling me that Alice had taken Nessie shopping for the day so we could talk. Edward saying something about a new place, new opportunities. Hearing him try to justify his decision to exclude me from their upcoming move, telling me that HE'D decided that it would be healthier for the two of us if we spent some time apart, that I was stifling Nessie's development. Telling me that if we were truly to be soul mates, then a few years apart wouldn't make any difference. Trying to explain to him what the distance would do to both of us, the smug look in his eyes as he patted my shoulder and assured me that it would be ok. Trying to reason with him, then argue, yell, plead and finally cry like a little girl to get him to change his mind. Walking away lower than I'd ever felt and seeing Bella's eyes watching me from the cottage door with sadness and regret._

These memory fragments flew through my head in an instant. I recalled with absolute clarity the next morning when I went back to the Cullen mansion to try once again to reason with him, ready to beg for just 1 day a week with her, only to find that they had moved out already. The bastard probably had them pulling out the driveway the minute I left the day before.

I never even got to say goodbye to her. Who knows what they told her about me… Sick to my stomach, I turned to walk away, not paying any attention to where I was going. I'd just made it to the forest line when I heard my name.

I turned to see Carlisle and Esme standing in their driveway. I approached them hopefully, thinking maybe she was there with them, but Esme just shook her head sadly. That was my breaking point; I hit my knees and let loose a howl filled with all the anguish and pain I was feeling. Esme rushed to my side and held me while I sobbed, rubbing my back and kissing my forehead, whispering how sorry she was.

When I finally got myself under control, Carlisle was there to help me to my feet and pull me into a tight hug. When he released me, he too apologized, explaining that for the first time since he first turned Edward, he was ashamed of him. He and Esme told me that they had disagreed vehemently with Edward and Bella's decision to leave and distance Nessie from me.

They indicated that Bella didn't fully agree, either, but that she would only argue so far against Edward until he wore her down. Carlisle vowed to me that he would do whatever he could to help Nessie through this and that he would keep me updated from time to time. He explained that he'd have to do this without Edward's knowledge because he was adamant about this being a clean break. The pity in his eyes was almost too much to take.

He told me they were living in Oregon now, and that he and Esme had to be getting back soon.

Before he left, he gave me an envelope and said that perhaps I'd like to use this awful time to make something positive happen. He explained that there was enough in the envelope to pay for 4 years at the college of my choice, as well as enough for living expenses so that I didn't have to work while I went to school. Overwhelmed with the gesture and the emotions coursing through me, I tried to give it back, but they both insisted.

Esme hugged me again and whispered that it was the very least that they could do for me, and that I was to call her directly if there was ever anything else I needed.

They drifted back into the trees and were soon completely gone. Stunned at everything that had happened, I began to walk slowly back to La Push. Too worn out to run or even phase, it took me an hour before I was crashing into my bed, stuffing the envelope between my mattresses. I didn't move again for nearly 3 days, until Billy's incessant worrying finally drove me from my sanctuary. I made myself a couple of sandwiches and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels from my closet. I headed down to the beach and drank myself into oblivion.

By the time I'd dragged myself out of my haze, it was late summer and I'd been through several 'interventions' from my well-meaning pack. Realizing I was no good to anyone around me, I made Leea temporary Alpha and applied to a few schools.

Finally looking into the envelope Carlisle gave me, I was stunned at how much was in there. I estimated that there was enough in there for more than just me to go to school, so I talked to Seth and Embry about going with me. We figured that if we split an apartment and worked part time, we could all go to the University of Washington on the Cullen's dough.

We signed up and left 2 weeks later. We all went into education, with different focuses; Seth focusing on business, Embry chose computer technology and I picked physical education. We worked damn hard, though I don't remember much about that time. I was numb for those years, going through the motions. I did well in my classes, mostly because in the back of my mind, I knew I was doing it for my Nessie. Nothing else really held my interest, though.

The boys enjoyed the college experience more than I. In the beginning, they tried often to get me to go out with them and party, maybe meet someone. After a couple years, they finally stopped bothering me, realized that I wasn't messin' around when I said I'd never be able to love anyone else like the girl I was meant to be with.

After graduating, we searched online ads for any school that would take all three of us, I didn't much care where it was. It wasn't without a certain amount of shame that I left Leea still holding the bag as temporary Alpha, but I explained as best I could that I had to be away. If not forever, then for just a little while longer. The guys and I still phased regularly to stay in contact with the rest of the pack, and since it'd been quiet for so long there, things were working out fine. I went back a few times to visit my dad, but being in that area only reminded me of her. I mostly called him now.

Which brings me back to here, today, in my office, with the man who broke me standing 40 feet away from me next to the only person who could possibly put me back together. How in the hell was I supposed to go out there?


	7. Chapter 7

**RPOV**

I watched him leave his office and walk across the gym toward our group. None of my family members seemed to notice him yet, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. I knew in an instant who he was. How could I not?

I was partially hidden behind Emmett's back, so I knew he hadn't seen me yet. I was grateful for Em's massive back because I was petrified at the thought of locking eyes with him. So many emotions swirled through me, I honestly couldn't pick what my first reaction to seeing him was. I could feel my pulse pounding through my entire body and my stomach churned and bucked.

_ My Jacob….._

Vaguely I registered my family's reaction to his introduction, but it felt like it was happening far away from me. I was barely even aware of them surrounding me, much less the other 15 or so human kids in the class with us.

I tried making some sense of what was happening. Why was he here? How could he be here now, in this town, in this school?

My mind ran through a slew of random thoughts related to the details of Jacob's presence ten feet in front of me, knowing all the while that none of it really mattered. I was mindful of the fact that all I was doing was trying to keep my mind too busy to process the intense feelings threatening to incapacitate me.

The first emotion I registered was absolute joy…The second that recognition set in, I felt whole again. I'd forgotten what that was like, to not feel like some vital piece of me had been ripped out, leaving a gaping hole. My mind immediately started a reel of our happiest memories together, and the sensation of security and unconditional love that accompanied it was overwhelming.

In the next instant though, my mood soured as those thoughts were replaced by a replay of that terrible morning, and all those that followed…

_Waking up, eager as always to see my Jacob, wondering what fun things he had planned for me today, knowing that he would be there to rescue me from my lessons before long. Mom explaining that I didn't have to go to 'school' today, immediately thinking that meant more time with Jacob, until she explained that I had to go with Aunt Alice instead. Getting back from that grueling shopping trip and racing through the cottage looking for him. Daddy trying to tell me that he wasn't there, but I couldn't believe that – he was always there for me to play with. Running over to the big house, thinking that maybe Grandma was feeding him over there. The shock of seeing everything all packed up there, the furniture covered with sheets. Confused, not understanding what was going on – where was everyone? Mom and dad explaining that we had to move on, couldn't stay in Forks any longer. Hearing that Jacob wasn't coming – that he was 'a grown man with a life of his own, had to lead his pack and take care of his dad.' Dad saying that hanging around with a little girl everyday was keeping Jacob from building his own life and that I needed time away from him too…. Screaming at daddy, fighting and flailing at the car restraints…..Crying all the way to our new house, and for weeks afterward….._

So, I guessed this was the life he had needed time away from me to build. As I listened to mom and dad whispering furiously but nearly silently to each other, I wondered if Jacob had missed me like I missed him. The despair and heartache from those months after we moved flashed to mind, and I couldn't help but hope that he had felt them too.

A second later, those thoughts and memories were replaced by a crushing sense of fear and confusion – what was I supposed to do now? How do I act, what do I say? How will he handle all of this? I was suddenly petrified….**I** had no idea how to handle this.

Holy crap, he's a teacher now. **My** teacher… What would this mean for us?

And um, wow….was he always this hot? What? Ok, that errant thought just kind of snuck in there…but seriously, I remember always thinking he was beautiful, but this is something else entirely….

I heard dad and mom stop conversing and dad growl lightly under his breath. Apparently he heard my last thought, but I was too confounded to care.

I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing. I didn't answer when mom asked if I was ok. I didn't look up when Aunt Rose tried to make eye contact with me. I felt like running out of the gym and not stopping till I reached my bedroom, but I knew I couldn't trust my legs to do my bidding . So I stayed in my head and allowed myself to revel in my thoughts.

I heard him start roll call. His tone icy cold when he called out my family's names, fierce emotions flashing across his face that were gone a fraction of a second later. When he got to my name, his voice cracked audibly. I raised my hand, unable to speak in that moment. He continued through his list and I couldn't believe how he was able to act so calm and collected. Was this really not affecting him like it was me?

"Alright class, have a seat on the bleachers. I have to grab something from my office, then we'll go over the schedule for the semester. Keep it down," he stated, as he walked quickly away.

As we found seats next to each other, I heard my parents and aunt and uncle discussing the situation, too quietly for the humans to hear.

"How the hell did this happen?" Rosalie hissed.

"How the hell should I know? And what does it matter how, anyway? I think we need to leave" dad replied.

"Remember what Carlisle said – do **nothing** to threaten blowing our cover. We're supposed to go along acting like typical high school students, not bring any attention to ourselves. It wouldn't seem very 'typical' for the five of us to get up and walk out right now!" my mom insisted.

Dad gave her a strange look, but agreed. "Fine, we stay for now. But as soon as we're through here, I'm going to the office to see if there's another class we can all be switched too instead of this one."

"So we're just going to stay here? Let **a dog** _teach_ us?" Rosalie asked scornfully.

"For now, yes, and you need to calm down and act normal."

"Relax, Rose…it'll be fine" Emmett soothed.

"Shutup, jackass" Rosalie responded. Emmett just grinned at her.

Jacob returned to our group then with a stack of papers. He began handing them around.

"We'll start the semester with a conditioning and weight training unit, followed by basketball, volleyball, football and finally swimming. I expect everyone to show up for class dressed and ready to go, and I deal with any and all discipline problems with laps, lots and lots of laps. Any questions?"

No one said anything.

"No? Ok, let's start with a few laps around the gym, then line up for exercises. Get moving." Jacob said, never once making eye contact with any of us. We left our schedules on the bleachers and began to jog, concentrating hard to keep pace with the rest of the class.

A short time later, we were arranged loosely in rows going through the exercises _Coach Black_ yelled out at us. I discovered it was easier to focus on what we were doing, and watching the kids around me to make sure I stayed at their speed than it was to allow myself to think about the inconceivable situation I was in. I tried for a moment to block out his presence, but gave up when I realized that was impossible. I couldn't keep him out of my mind for more than a second or two, but I still wasn't sure what I really thought about him.

Part of me was so hurt; the heartbreak of his sudden absence from my life never went away. Why didn't he come after me? Why did he never contact me in all these years? Did he really not want me in his life? Did he resent all the time he wasted taking care of me for those few years of my childhood? But if so, why did he sound so choked up when he called out my name? Why did I keep catching him looking at me funny, only to look away quickly when our eyes met?

A bigger part of me was happy, exuberant really at the sight of him again after so long. A sense of 'rightness' had settled over me when I saw him that I was fighting, hard. Happiness was a selfish emotion, I realized, since he obviously meant more to me than I did to him. I decided I had to quash that feeling and never let it show. Things were obviously very different now, and I guessed I'd have to learn to live with that.

"Alright class, follow me next door to the weight room. We'll spend the rest of the week learning the machines and making up individualized training programs for each of you to follow for the next few weeks. No one touches anything in there before I say so." Jacob instructed.

"Oh boy!" Emmet exclaimed, rubbing his hands together with an excited glint in his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Twilight and all associated characters belong to Steph Meyer**_

_…. The shock of seeing them all standing there pretty much stole my ability to form coherent thoughts. I felt sick. What did she think about me? Wow, she was beautiful. I had no idea how to handle this. Maybe I could have Seth sub for me…..no, he has a class now too. Dammit! How could this be happening now? Do I call them in here now and just address this situation before class? Should I just go out there and act normal and talk to them after class? Seriously, she is stunning! Maybe I should just talk to her first? Or maybe Bella? _

_!_

Still not knowing what to do, I just decided to go out there and wing it. I'd not say or do anything until one of them said something or gave me a sign.

I walked as slowly as I was physically capable of to meet my class. I started mentally screaming at myself to NOT do what crossed my mind once I got close enough to really see her, which was to grab her and run for it, as fast as I could, class be damned. I was pretty sure that wouldn't end well. The problem was, I was now rethinking 'winging it' and that was the only real plan I had formulated since Seth barged in my office. I kept trying to force my brain to come up with a better idea, but so far no dice…

_She's older now, maybe things would be ok. Maybe I could be a part of her life again. I wonder how Edward would feel about talki…_

_Ok, I should be on fire from the glare he's giving me right now. Guess that answers my question about joining the happy family. Gotta work on blocking him out…it's been so long since I had to, don't know if I still can….. I felt a slow burn start in my gut as I made eye contact with him, remembering the hell I've been through in the last several years…._

Just gonna start class and not worry about the rest of them. She's the only one whose opinion matters to me anyway.

I figured the Cullens wouldn't do anything to draw attention to themselves and would play it cool while there were other humans around. As much as I wanted to just cancel class and get this whole reunion over with, I warned myself to not act any differently till I had more information. No matter how I might feel, I had to keep their secret.

_I started bargaining with myself. If she makes eye contact with me AND smiles when I call her name, that means she doesn't hate me. I'll pull her aside while the rest of the class runs laps. _

_I started calling off roll call from my class list. Rosalie and Edward offered a frigid 'here' when I called their name. Emmett looked right at me with a goofy smile and yelled 'here, bro' and Bella just gave me a sweet, if maybe a little sad smile. When I called __**her**__ name, she wouldn't even look at me, instead just raising her hand slightly. Shit – she hates me! I felt like I was going to be sick. I barely made my way through the rest of the names before I had to excuse myself to run back to my office. I ran into my tiny adjoining bathroom and threw up everything I'd eaten so far that day. SHIT! What am I gonna do? _

_I could feel my pull to her. Truth be told, I'd been feeling something funny in the pit of my stomach all day, I 'd just attributed it to the crappy eggs Embry had made that morning – I'd had to douse them in so much hot sauce to make them edible that I figured my stomach was revolting. Now I knew what it was. I'd tried so hard to convince myself these last few years that I didn't feel my connection to her anymore, trying to talk myself into believing it was in her best interest to let her make a better life for herself. I knew deep down that it never went away though, and now I was confronted with the truth – I'd never feel whole until she was a part of my life again._

_Ok, time for a better plan. I made a new bargain with myself. If she made eye contact at least 5 times, I'd call her over to talk. Maybe I could even keep her here into the next hour, I could always write her a pass. I mulled this over in my head as I made my way out of my office, grabbing the syllabi from my desk to justify my running out._

I tried to settle my nerves and go about teaching my class like my life hadn't just been irreversibly altered. Taking my cues from Edward and company, I continued to ignore their presence, or at least treat them like any other students.

_What a crock, I thought to myself then, since I hadn't even registered the presence of any other students up to that point. _

_I mentally informed Edward that we'd play things cool for now, but that we WERE going to talk, soon. He gave a slight nod._

I went through the schedule with them and had them start laps, carefully watching her out of the corner of my eye. As she arose from her spot on the bleachers, she looked directly at me, just for a second, before hurrying after her mom.

_YES! That's one…._

She didn't look at me again till we were finishing up with some exercises. I saw her eyeing me slyly, her body turned nearly away from me. When she discovered me watching her right back, I flashed her my biggest grin, catching her off guard. She looked at me full on before whipping her head around.

_TWO!_

_I knew how hard this whole situation was for me, I could only imagine what she was going through. I wished to God I knew how they'd explained my absence to her. Was she mad or hurt? Both? Did she still remember how close we were? How much fun we had? _

_She was older now, and so beautiful. Did she have a boyfriend? Had she ever?_

_And the scariest question of all…..would she ever accept me in her life again? I knew I would spend the rest of my life making things up to her, gladly, for just the chance to know her again._

The snickering of some of the other kids snapped my out of my daydreaming to realize they were waiting for my next directions. I ushered them toward the weight room, Emmett's enthusiastic response making me grudgingly chuckle.

I began explaining the various machines and how to use them safely. I was about to ask for a volunteer to demonstrate the lat pull when I noticed Rosalie leaning against the wall, arms crossed, scowling at me.

_Oh Blondie..this is going to be fun…_

"Miss Hale, was it? Yes, you – the blond. Would you come here and help show the class how to use this machine? I asked her innocently.

_If I wasn't somewhat worried about bursting into flames from the glare she gave me, I would have enjoyed her reaction more. _

She growled low, so that only her family and I could hear it, and replied "I'd rather not, have Emmett here do it."

"Oh, but I think It'd be good for the other females in the class to see that anyone can use these machines, even a delicate flower such as yourself" I grinned.

A few laughs rang out through the room as she shot me another death glare. I patted the seat and urged " Come on up, dear. Do you need help adjusting the seat?"

"No, thank you" she spat at me. The look Emmett was giving me said 'continue at your own risk', though he was smirking broadly.

As she sat down, I couldn't resist taking the pin out of the weight I'd been using before, 450 lbs, and placing it in the lightest slot, 30lbs, and saying "Let me know if that's too much for you, I can help you lift it all the way up."

"I'm sure I'll be fine, _**coach**_" she snarled.

Even Edward was smiling at our exchange now. I looked over and saw her watching me with amusement.

_That's three, baby!_

As she began to lift, I saw Edward flash her a warning. She scrunched up her face at him for an instant, and began to slowly lift, acting as if it were somewhat difficult. Never one to leave well enough alone, I added "Nice and slow, there. Try to do 10, but let me know if you can't make it"

By the time we'd gone through the rest of the machines, the hour was over and I hadn't caught her eye the 5 times I had convinced myself I needed in order to justify keeping her after class to talk. Dejected, I began giving out instructions for our next class and dismissing the students to the locker rooms to shower.

I was consoling myself that I could try again tomorrow when I heard "Oh, Miss Masen, could you stay after for a moment? I have a form you need to have filled out due to your late enrollment at this school."

_What? Who said that? Holy crap, that was me!_


	9. Chapter 9

**RPOV**

_I couldn't even begin to describe all the emotions swirling around inside me during this past hour. It was taking so much mental energy to keep blocking my dad out of my head that trying to decipher my feelings right then was impossible. I keep looking at mom, hoping she'll get the hint that I want her to block me for awhile, but so far no luck. _

_I can't remember ever feeling this way. As awkward as this situation seems, I also feel an excitement that is completely strange to me. It's almost like anticipation, I'm just not sure for what….._

_Memories of our time in Forks keep flashing in my mind. Not just all the fun stuff we did, but the sensation of safety and love that I always associated with him. I'd been missing that for so long that it almost hurt to be reminded of it. Of course, my family loved me very much, I knew that, but it wasn't the same as it was with Jake._

_How on Earth are my family members acting like this is no big deal? I'm ready to crawl out of my skin with nervous anxiety, and my family's acting like this is just another day. _

_HELLO?! Major part of my life, missing for the last 4 years has just miraculously reappeared… Perhaps we'd like to discuss? _

_I keep debating what I should do next….Do I try and talk to him? Should I follow his lead and do nothing? Maybe seeing me is no big deal to him, maybe I'm the only one freakin' out here…._

_I know he saw me looking at him as we ran laps and did exercises. I also know that I'm not imagining the look I saw flash through his eyes. I'm definitely not the only one affected, and yet he moved the class along like it was nothing….._

_OK, the bit in the weight room was super funny. Boy, was Aunt Rose pissed…. I remembered those two always teasing each other. Since he's messing with her, he obviously remembers our old lives together. Maybe I could try and talk to him? I'll just wait to see if he seems like he wants to talk to me._

_I waited throughout the rest of the demonstration. Once, he saw me looking and smiled at me, and I nearly passed out. I had to look away fast before my heart stopped. _

_That smile has to be a good sign!_

_Too soon, class was over. As he gave out instructions for next class, I felt myself start to panic a little. The class was now filing out and he never approached me, or said anything to make me think he wanted to talk to me…I could feel my eyes start to water as I rushed toward the door. Then I heard "_Oh, Miss Masen, could you stay after for a moment? I have a form you need to have filled out due to your late enrollment at this school."

_YES!_

My dad immediately turned to glare at Jacob, and tried to grab my elbow and force me out the door with him.

"My sister can't be late for her next class. We'll all stop by after school to deal with whatever _paperwork_ you think you have for her," Edward snipped.

"Edward, is it? Well, you don't have to worry about your sister. I'll write her a pass to get into her next class late. You'd better be hurrying along, though…" Jacob responded with a smirk.

I caught a furious look between my mom and dad. To my complete surprise, however, in the next instant mom took dad by the elbow. She led him out of the room much like he had just been trying to do to me. Mom gave me a half smile and said that she'd see me after our next class when we met in the parking lot to go home. Just as they disappeared from sight, I saw her lock eyes with Jake. Something transpired in that split-second, and I was so surprised to see mom flash him a huge grin behind my dad's back. He smiled back before turning to me.

"I'd like to talk to you for a minute, if I could….." He said, hesitatingly.

"Sure, I guess…."

"Just let me get my next class set up. Would you wait in my office?"

"Alright."

I heard him greeting his next class and taking roll call. I heard my Aunt Alice's twinkling voice respond to him, and rolled my eyes at the obvious glee I heard. Jasper's voice sounded out next, and he sounded oddly happy also. He handed out physical fitness exams to everyone, just "to gauge their knowledge of the subject", and got them started before heading back to me.

The pounding of my pulse echoed through my entire body louder and louder with each step closer he came. As much as I felt desperate to talk to him earlier, I was now so scared I wasn't sure if I could speak. I wanted so badly to know why he never contacted me, but at the same time I was afraid to know his answer.

He stepped quietly into his office and closed his door. We stared at each other for a minute or so, not really knowing how to start this conversation. He finally broke the silence.

"I've missed you…..so much…"

"really?" I blurted out, sounding more angry than I meant to. I didn't really know what else to say since, if he really had missed me, he would have stayed in my life, right?

"You have no idea, Ness. Not a day has gone by…No, not an hour… that I haven't thought of you. When you guys left, I….I….didn't think I'd make it." He said softly.

When I didn't say anything, he continued. As he spoke, I couldn't help picking up on the deep sadness in his voice.

"I've prayed for the day that I'd see you again. I've gone over the scenario in my head thousands of times in the last few years, wondering how to make it come true…wondering how you were, if you'd remember me, if you'd even want me back in your life again….."

I wanted to respond. I wanted to ease the heartache pouring out of him. I just couldn't get past the hurt that kept flooding back from the weeks and months after we left and I didn't hear from him. A long and uncomfortable silence filled the air between us.

Finally he blurted "Say something Ness, please, say anything…just talk to me."

"Why?" was the only thing I could think of to say.

"Why what? "

"Why didn't you come with us? Why didn't you ever come find me? Why did you leave me alone?" I almost screamed at him, my voice breaking at the last question. I could no longer hold back my tears, overwhelmed at the emotionality of the situation. I felt on the verge of completely breaking down, almost not able to believe he was really standing in front of me, yet at the same time nearly livid that he had deserted me. My emotions were at war with each other and I was unprepared for it.

He stared at me for a moment or two, then gestured with his arms, soundlessly asking me if it was okay to come over to me. I nodded slightly, then felt his giant strong arms enveloping me. I instantly felt soothed, remembering how many times he'd calmed me this way. We stayed that way for several long moments before he pulled away and spoke again.

"Ness, there are some things that you need to speak to your father about. Know that it was not my choice to be without you, but I regret now not fighting harder. I tried to find you a couple of times after I graduated from college, but the Cullens are really good at staying hidden. I know I have a lot to make up for, and a lot that we need to talk about. But more than anything, I just want to know if there's a chance for me to be a part of your life again."

I looked up at him and saw the earnest, hopeful expression on his face and knew that no matter what had transpired in the past, I wasn't letting him out of my life ever again. As sure of that fact as I was, though, I also knew that there were a lot of answers that I needed to make sense of things. My dad had always made it seem like Jacob had wanted to pursue his own life, yet he just said that it wasn't his choice. What did this mean?

"As much as I'd love nothing better than to stay here for hours with you talking things out, my class is getting rowdy out there. Can we talk again tonight?"

"I'm not sure, I think I have a lot to talk about with my parents. I'm really confused right now, Jacob."

"I understand." He said, quietly, as he looked away.

Noticing the broken tone of his voice, I looked at him questioningly. He caught my eye and said in a whisper "Ness, I'm just afraid they'll take you away from me again…"

"Never!" I said firmly. I squeezed his hand and smiled up at him.

Knowing I had to make my exit, I reminded him about the pass for my next class and promised we'd talk more soon. I wrote my cell number down on the pad on his desk and hurried out the door.

_Yeah, it was time for a nice long talk with my parents._


	10. Chapter 10

_**Twilight and all associated characters belong to Steph Meyer**_

**BPOV**

Shocked isn't nearly strong enough a word to describe how I felt seeing Jake standing in front of our class. Even with my advanced processing ability, I couldn't make sense of the fact that he was standing ten feet in front of me. I immediately thought back to the last time I saw him, and was flooded with shame for the way we had treated him. He meant so much to me and yet I went along with breaking his heart.

I remembered the strain that our decision to move without Jake had put on mine and Edwards' marriage. In fact, the situation with Jake was the only thing that Edward and I had ever really fought about. I knew that I wasn't the only one who disagreed with my husband, either. Carlisle and Esme made it very clear from the beginning that they felt we'd made the wrong decision. Esme was almost as beside herself as Renesmee was in those first few months. She treated Jake like a son, and I knew his absence hurt her. Emmett, Jasper and Alice also had a hard time at first, though I know partly that was because they were forced to experience Renesmee's pain up close.

In the end, I went along with my husband's decision because I knew he wouldn't back down after putting up such a strong argument. Secretly, I also thought that the separation would only last a few weeks, maybe months. I really believed that I'd be able to wear Edward down and that somewhere down the road, he'd cave and invite Jacob to come stay with us.

When month after month went by, and Renesmee became more and more quiet and withdrawn, I kep t waiting for Edward to talk to me about it, dropping hints and subtly expressing how I felt. It was obvious what was wrong with our daughter, everyone in the house was suffering right along with her because none of us could stand to see her so sad. I knew Edward felt terrible for her, but instead of backing down, he threw himself into becoming Renesmee's social activity director. He started keeping her days filled with every sort of fieldtrip or educational activity imaginable. I knew, of course, what he was trying to do, just as I knew it wouldn't be successful.

I also knew that his desire to keep the two of them apart wasn't personal; he didn't hate Jacob. Edward just knew that we would have a shortened childhood with our little girl and I think he truly believed he was doing the right thing by putting distance between them, forcing them to have life experiences apart from each other. Of course, I think the part of Edward that will forever be 17 was also a little jealous of Jacob's closeness with our daughter. He'd never admit that, though.

_Seeing Jacob today sparked a feeling of hope in me. As much as I knew Edward was livid and would do everything he could to keep them apart, I also knew that was mostly due to his being caught unaware. My husband did __**not**__ like being being taken by surprise, probably because it so rarely happens for him._

_I was strangely excited. Maybe this was happening now for a reason….. Maybe he was meant to come back into her life now, as she stood on the cusp of adulthood…_

In that moment, I knew I'd do whatever I could to help them find their way back to each other, even if I had to do it covertly to keep Edward from blowing a gasket.

Throughout class, I caught Jake and Renesmee stealing a few glances at each other. I took that as a good sign, but still hoped for something more; a gesture or sign that hinted at what they must be feeling. As the end of class came and we started trailing out the door, I felt a keen sense of disappointment. Then, I heard him ask her to stay after class. YES! I thought to myself!

Edward immediately tensed up. He told Jake to let her go, that we'd come by later, but Jake was having none of it. I was secretly so proud of him. I grabbed Edward by the elbow like he had just tried to do to our daughter, and used every ounce of my strength to maneuver him out of the door and down the hallway.

"Bella, what are you doing?" He whispered furiously to me.

Not wanting to play my cards to early, I simply said "Everything will be fine; they're in school, what could happen? Remember that we cannot make a scene. Let's go to class and we'll see her in a little bit." I soothed.

His lips pursed, he stalked off down the hallway without another word to me. Yep, he was mad at me too, now. Knowing he could never really stay mad at me for long, I didn't worry too much. I followed him back towards the locker rooms to change. As soon as I was done, he was waiting outside with a small smile to escort me to our Economics class that Renesmee would soon be joining us in.

Nope, never really stays mad at me.

We walked hand in hand in a comfortable silence. I knew he was thinking about how to handle the situation, and that he would tell me about his plans as they firmed up. I felt a twinge of guilt knowing that I'd actively be working to undermine them, but I also felt a responsibility to my daughter. In this moment, I was sure that I knew what she needed better than he did. I loved my husband more than I ever thought was possible, but he could be excessively stubborn and self-righteous at times…..He needed me to handle this, even if he didn't know it yet.

I saw the door to the classroom we had next and walked in after Edward, only to bump forcefully into his back. He had stopped suddenly in the doorway and wasn't moving. I heard him mutter "Oh, for the love of all that's holy, you've got to be frickin' kidding me…."

I peeked around him and saw no other than my old friend, Seth Clearwater standing behind the podium at the front of class. He looked up in that moment and instantly grinned ear to ear. He was over by us in a second, pulling us into the hallway and hugging each of us. Edward recovered enough by this point to greet him sincerely, their past friendship seemingly rekindled.

Seth quickly closed the classroom door as the bell rang, instructing the other waiting students in the room to just "chill for a minute, **quietly**". He turned to us in the hallway and just stared for a moment, before grinning again. "I can't believe you're here, man….this is too weird! How is it possible that you show up in this town, in this school, hell - in this state?! Burning desire to be cheeseheads?"

He stared at us expectantly until Edward just muttered "Long story…." and after a minute, Seth dropped it.

"Well, I'm happy to see you. Is this going to be too weird?" he asked, gesturing to the classroom.

"No, not at all, Seth, and we're happy to see you too." I answered for the both of us.

"Well, I guess we better get in there, then, before things get out of hand." He opened the door and waved us in in front of him.

Edward ushered us to two of three empty desks in the back row and I settled in to listen to Seth discuss his plans for the school year.

_My mind wandered over to the odds of running into two Quileute Shape-shifters this far from the reservation. What were the chances? Fate had to be intervening, there's no other way. I continued to mull this over in my head as I waited for my daughter to join us. I was worried about how things were going between her and Jacob. What were they talking about? Was she okay?_

I was just turning my attention back to Seth when Renesmee made her entrance. I thought Seth was going to need the Heimlich after the way he sputtered and choked on his words as she approached him with her late pass. I saw her react to him, as well, though I thought she covered her reaction better. I saw her hand settle on his for a moment as he took the pass, and I was sure she was telling him something silently. He continued to look at her in near shock, but nodded slightly and gestured her toward the empty seat next to me.

I looked at her expectantly, hoping I'd be able to read something on her face to let me know how things had gone. As soon as she met my eyes, however, her face clouded over with anger.

Uh oh.

She skipped the desk next to me in favor of one a row over. I was afraid of a reaction like this. They must have discussed quite a bit. I told Edward that letting her believe that Jake was in favor of the separation was a very bad idea. I told him that it would come back to bite us, that it would only make things much worse when we had to face the consequences of keeping them apart. He insisted that everything would be fine and no amount of persuading on my part made any difference. Gawd, he could be so smug sometimes!

In that moment I vowed to never again dismiss my concerns and allow my husband to have the final word on something I felt strongly about. Fat lot of good it did me now, but it felt good telling myself that.

I tried unsuccessfully for the rest of class to get her attention. She steadfastly ignored me. I looked at Edward with pleading eyes, but he shook his head, letting me know that he could not read any of her thoughts.

Finally, the bell rang to signal the end of this very bazaar day. I gathered my things quickly (well, humanly quickly) to try and walk out with her, but she was out the door before I even looked up. I looked at Edward sadly. We clasped hands and followed her out, eager to talk to her but dreading what she might have to say to us.

We made our way through the parking lot, knowing that we'd at least have the car ride home to speak with her about things. I began planning in my head what I would say to her, when I saw her climbing into Emmett and Rosalie's truck. With a quick look in our direction to assure us that she was with them, Rosalie sped out onto the road and headed for home.

_Well, dammit!_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Twilight and all associated characters belong to Steph Meyer**_

**RPOV**

I caught Aunt Alice's eye as I walked out of Jacob's office and noted the sympathetic smile on her face. Jasper was also watching me warily, obviously wondering if I was ok. I gave a small wave and hurried out the door toward the locker room. I was so grateful to have the whole room to myself as I slowly changed and contemplated what my next move should be.

I didn't want to believe that my parents would have lied to me and purposely kept my Jacob away from me, especially knowing how hard it was for me. When Jacob first told me to talk to my dad about it, that it wasn't his choice, my first reaction was that he was mistaken. There's no way that my dad would have done that to me, and my mom never would have gone along. She of all people knew what being without him did to me, knew that I'd never really been the same since. I tried to hold on to my belief that Jake was somehow wrong.

Then, the more I thought about things, I realized that the last five and a half years had been really hard on Jacob, too. I could see in his eyes how much he'd missed me, how happy he was to see me again. Why would he willingly put himself through that?

I decided that there had to be a lot more to the story than I'd been told. I was suddenly furious at being kept in the dark about something so significant to my life. I needed answers and for the first time in my life, I was willing to stand up to my parents to get them. I felt a fire growing in my gut and I wasn't sure if it was born of anger and frustration at my parents, or my emotions at seeing Jacob again after all this time, but it wasn't going away any time soon.

I left the locker room determined to get the answers I needed. I quickly made it to the door of my Economics classroom and was greeted by the second big shock of the day. There at the front of the classroom stood Jacob's packmate, Seth. I stood there gawking for a minute, then showed him the pass I was holding. "Sorry I'm late, Mr. Clearwater" I said quietly, a small smile on my face. He just stared at me for a minute after nearly choking out the last of whatever he was telling the class. Hoping he would remember about my power, I handed him the late pass, touching his hand for a second as I did. I passed him the message that I was happy to see him again and that I'd really like to talk to him later. He nodded and showed me the empty desk next to my parents.

In that moment, my mood turned dark as I walked down the aisle. I couldn't shake my thoughts about how much had been kept from me. I was now also worrying about what Jacob's life had been like since I'd seen him last. The sadness I saw in his eyes today was heartbreaking. Is that what he'd been feeling all this time?

My mom caught my eye and smiled at me, but I couldn't even acknowledge her. I took a desk an aisle over and looked straight ahead, blocking my mind and focusing on what Seth was saying.

All through class, I thought about what I should do, what I should say. Not really coming up with anything good, I was shocked when the end of day bell broke me out of my contemplations. Nowhere near ready to face mom and dad, I broke for the door and darted toward the parking lot.

Thankfully, Rose and Emmett were nearly to their car. Knowing it would be tight, I still begged them to let me go home with them. With a sympathetic smile, Rose said sure and I squeezed myself in.

Emmett immediately looked at me with a big grin and said "Who the hell saw **that** coming, hey?"

"Uncle Em, I don't even know what to say. I'm pretty overwhelmed."

"Oh, I get it, kiddo….I'm here to talk if you want, but I'll leave you to your thoughts if that's what you need…"

"Thanks….maybe we could talk later?"

"You bet, hon"

I knew that Emmett and Jake always liked each other, and I figured he'd be someone that I could hash things out with later if I needed. For now, I needed to plan what I was going to say to my parents. The ride home wasn't all that long, and I'd have to face them pretty quickly.

We turned into the drive way and I darted up the stairs to my room, buying myself a few more minutes to think before having 'the big talk'. I changed into some comfy shorts and a tee shirt and sat on my bed to wait.

Sure enough, a few moments later there was a tentative knock on my door.

"Come in" I said, a knot forming in my throat. I hadn't felt emotions as strong as the ones coursing through me in as long as I could remember. The muted feeling that I'd lived with for so long was slipping away and I felt a strange new sensation wanting to take over. I wasn't sure how to categorize it, but I thought it was something like empowerment. A sense that I wasn't going to just let things happen to me anymore.

My parents slipped through the door and perched at the end of my bed, looking at me cautiously. My dad broke the short silence. "Renesmee, honey…do you want to talk about what happened today?"

"Dad, there's a lot that I want to talk about, a lot that I'm really confused about. I can't help wondering, though, if I'll really get the answers that I want…"  
"What do you mean? You know you can always talk to us…"

"Ok, tell me again what happened when we moved away from Jake," I challenged.

"You know this already, it was just time for each of you to spend some time apart, it was for the best." he countered.

"Whose idea was it? Did he want to be away from me?" I heard my voice getting louder.  
"Well…I know he missed you, of course he did. You two were very close."

"That's not answering my question. I saw him today and felt the sadness he's felt all these years. Why would he choose to hurt himself that way? Why would he hurt me that way? Tell me whose idea it was!" I demanded, tears now flowing down my cheeks.

My mom reached over to wipe them, but I jerked my head back. She flinched, but looked down. My dad continued to stare at me. "Renesmee, I need you to understand that we're your parents and we did what we thought was best for our child." My mom looked up at him angrily for a moment, and I thought she was going to add something to that, but she abruptly stopped. They seemed to be communicating something between them, and then she just looked at me again.

I heard his parental tone start to take over as he tried to convince me that they knew what was ultimately the right way to raise me, and I knew that he wasn't going to be honest with me. I turned to my mom, "Won't you at least be honest with me? Tell me that Jacob was the one who didn't want to come with us. Tell me that he wanted to have his own life. TELL ME!" I nearly screamed at her.

I saw Uncle Jasper appear in the doorway, but before he could try and manipulate my mood, I asked him to let my parents and I handle this on our own. He raised his eyebrows at me, questioning if I was sure, and I nodded. He faded away down the hallway toward his room.

My mom couldn't meet my eyes. She and my dad exchanged a look, and he had the nerve to say to me "Sweetheart, it's clear that you're very upset. Let's let you relax now and we'll discuss this later. Don't worry about going back to school tomorrow, we'll work something out when Carlisle gets home from work."

I looked at him with as much contempt as I could muster and asked them to leave my room. As the door was closing, I informed them that I WOULD be going to school, and until they were ready to be honest with me, I hadn't anything more to discuss with them. I turned and leaped out my window and ran to the forest at the end of our yard before they could stop me. I heard him try to come after me and my mom telling him to let me cool off.

I ran for several miles and found a small clearing that must have once been used as a small campsite, judging by the firepit in the middle. I sat on one of the stumps surrounding it and allowed myself to get lost in my memories. It was at least a couple of hours later when I became aware of another presence approaching me. I turned my head to see Grandma Esme walking toward me with a smile and outstretched arms. I allowed her to fold me up in a huge hug and began to cry while she rubbed my back. I finally calmed and began telling her everything that had happened today.

She listened without interrupting until I finished. I told her everything, including the feelings I was having about Jake, about wanting to stand up to my parents for the first time and demanding the truth, about the heartbreak in Jacob's eyes when he worried about losing me again. I unloaded everything, then turned and asked her what to do now.

"Oh, my sweetie, I wish I could tell you exactly how to handle this. I WILL tell you how proud I am of you, how glad I am that you are ready to stand up for what is important to you. I promise that I will help you as much as I can, but I'm afraid that you'll have to muddle through much of this on your own."

I smiled up at her and thanked her for listening to me. She hugged me and asked if I'd accompany her home to eat the meal she'd prepared for me. She saw my apprehension at going home and gave me another squeeze and reassured me that I could handle it.

We turned to walk back together arm in arm. She leaned over and smiled, kissed my temple and whispered "I miss him, too."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Twilight and all associated characters belong to Steph Meyer**_

**EPOV**

"But Carlisle, you're being unreasonable!" I all but shouted at my father. This discussion of ours had been going on for over an hour, to my complete astonishment. I was all but certain that once I explained what had transpired today, he would agree at once to finding a different school for us to attend. Not only was that not the case, but he was more adamant than ever that we continue going to that stupid school.

"Edward," he began wearily, "We can go over this as many times as you wish, but the end result will remain the same. The next closest high school is 40 miles over in the next township. It would attract undue attention if all of you pulled out after one day and transferred to a school so far away. What would our reason be? "

"Then just Renesmee, Bella and I will go, surely we can come up with something to explain that. Or better yet, we'll just pull Renesmee out and say that the switch from home schooling was too difficult for her and that we've decided to go back to it." I offered hopefully. "The more I think of that, the more I think that's a great idea!" I was quickly becoming excited with my proposal.

"Edward, I rarely assert my authority on anything, preferring to consider the opinion of all involved and work together toward a mutually agreed upon outcome. However, in this case, I must insist that you trust me when I say that for the time being, things must stay as they are. I understand your discomfort at running into our old friends today, but I urge you to try and make the best of things until I'm confident of our safety and security in this new location"

"Perhaps if you were a little more forthcoming with your concerns…..I fail to see what possible disasters could come from such a simple move…."

"Son, we've already been over this many times. I'm still not at liberty to reveal my source, as I pledged my discretion, but we're under more scrutiny than ever at the moment by certain parties. There are a select few that are eagerly waiting and watching for this family to make a misstep. Please trust me when I tell you that the need for us to assimilate seamlessly into this community and make no waves whatsoever is greater than it's been for us in many years."

"But, surely…"

"Is this situation at the high school really critical enough to jeopardize the safety of our entire family?" Carlisle cut me off.

"No, of course not." I grumbled, feeling more like a petulant eight year old than the one hundred and fifteen year old vampire I was.

"Okay, then. I'm sorry that I'm not able to accommodate your wishes, but I thank you for seeing the bigger picture." He said, kindly yet dismissively.

Realizing that the discussion was over, I turned and went in search of my wife. Convinced she'd be on my side, and looking for some comfort, I found her reading on the chaise in our room. Knowing that she probably heard every word of my discussion, I sat down next to her and took her hands in mine.

"What are we to do now, love?"

"What do you mean?" she asked me.

"About Renesmee! Carlisle feels it's important that she continue going to school with the rest of us."

"And…"

"AND I don't like it! How can we allow this to continue? Surely this is going to be too hard for our daughter."

"Too hard for Renesmee? Or…."

"What are you implying? Surely you aren't happy with this turn of events?" You must agree with me that this is dangerous territory for her"  
"Oh, of course, I totally agree with you. But, if you don't mind Edward, I'd like to get back to my English assignment now. Thanks, love"

Not entirely convinced of her solidarity, I left her to her reading and went off to find my brothers. Surely they would agree with me.

Moments later, more convinced than ever of Emmett's idiocy, I came to the realization that I might be alone in my distress. Jasper was hunting, so I'd confer with him later. I set off for a run in the nearby forest to do some thinking. As I walked to the edge of the yard, I passed Esme and Renesmee. My daughter passed by as if I wasn't even there. Ouch.

_Jacob isn't even in her life and he's causing problems for me – I mean us. This is what I'm worried about, why doesn't anyone else see how bad this could be? He's already causing strife in my family. If I don't do something, he's going to pull her away from me – US. _

_Why did he have to show up here, of all places? I'd hoped that eventually, they'd just forget about each other…that's really the best thing for both of them. _

_It's not that I'm not grateful for the time he spent with her as a child, all the love and devotion he heaped on her. The thing was, she had parents who could do that for her. I was really just worried about him – he deserved the time to make a life for himself instead of spending every single day with a toddler._

_Oh, who am I kidding? I'm in my own head and still lying! I __**hated **__the fact that she preferred him to me. It ate away at me every day, how she'd start inching toward the door before her lessons were even over, knowing he was waiting outside. Or the way all her dreams were filled with their adventures, the possessive way she called him 'her Jacob', the way she constantly referred to the wolves as her family. _

_Of course I knew she loved Bella and I and the rest of the family, but in that month before we moved, all I could think of was that if she was that enamored of him at her young age, what would we have to go through with them when she was a teenager? When she was full grown?_

_I got scared, and I still don't think I could be blamed for that. Did I handle things appropriately? Well, it didn't really any more….the past is the past._


	13. Chapter 13

_**Twilight and all associated characters belong to Steph Meyer**_

**RPOV**

I felt a little better after my talk with grandma. My head still felt pretty swirly, with lots of thoughts and questions rolling around, but the sense of wholeness that I first felt this afternoon remained and was only getting stronger.

The frustration and anger I felt towards my parents earlier had faded, leaving a strong sense of determination in its place. They were certainly free to lie and keep things from me, just as **I **was free to figure out their secrets! I was a full-grown hybrid; why shouldn't I be able to find out what I needed about something so significant in my life?

The fact that Edward seemed so irritated by Jacob's presence only made me more eager to do so.

I barely slept the whole night, running over different scenarios in my head for how to get the answers I needed. My parents were clearly useless in that department, so that narrowed my options. Alice maybe? Emmett?

As I considered what the best plan was, it occurred to me that most of my family would probably back up Edward, even if they didn't completely agree with him, because they respected the fact that he was my father. I was getting a weird vibe from mom, but I wasn't really sure what to make of it yet. Once I had a little bit of info, I could probably try asking Esme for more, but that would have to be later.

That left Jacob.

The fact that he was a teacher only slightly slowed down my plotting. I'd just have to be careful about how I went about things. I bet I could wrangle some information out of Seth, too. He was always good about letting me hang out with him and Jacob and the rest of the pack – and I remember being pretty close with him.

With a tentative game plan in place, I finally drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face.

My alarm went off the next morning, summoning me into the first day of Operation Get-Some-Answers. I squelched the urge to tent my fingers under my chin and laugh maniacally as I went over my plan to handle my parents and accomplish what I needed in order to put things right.

_Oh, this was going to be a good day….._


	14. Chapter 14

**RPOV**

The success of my strategy would depend on good planning and a healthy dose of sneakiness. As long as I was vigilant about keeping Captain Nosy-pants from dipping into my head at will, I thought I'd have a pretty good shot.

I started on step one as soon as I was dressed. I crept down the hallway and knocked lightly on Aunt Alice's door. As soon as she opened it, I pushed my way in and began pleading my case.

"Aunt Alice, I reeeeeeally need your help!" I implored quietly

"Of course, Ness! What's wrong?" She asked.

"SSHHHH, keep it down. Aunt Alice, can you keep this blocked from _him_?" I whispered, unable to keep the contempt out of my voice

"Uh, what's going on?"  
"Yes or no?!"

"Ok, yes, I'll try"

"Try hard… Ok, I need help with a few things and you're the only one here I can turn to…" I continued as softly as I could, figuring that a little buttering up couldn't hurt.

"Alright, maybe you just better spill it..." she said, a bit nervously.

"The first one's easy, I just need you to help me with my appearance. I'm full grown and I wa – no, need to start looking like it….hair, makeup, clothes, everything. From now on, I need to look more my age, more like the kids in my grade instead of a little girl."

The grin on her face told me that she was on board with that, so I continued.

"Next, please, please, please take me to school early today….I'll explain the detail of my plan later when we're …well, not here. But for now, we have to hurry."

"Plan? Plan for what? If you're asking me to attempt to sneak around my nearly omniscient brother, I'm gonna need more details…"

"Later! C'mon, help me get ready _quickly_!"

Knowing that she didn't have it in her to really deny me anything, I strode over to her closet and waited impatiently.

With a wary sigh, she joined me .

A few minutes later, hair up, makeup applied and dressed in a cute pair of tight dark wash skinny jeans and fitted tee, I crept downstairs. Alice and Jasper agreed to exit through their balcony and wait in the car with the engine running.

Grandma met me with a hug and a plate of French toast and sausages. I ate a few bites to be polite, even though I was too anxious to keep much down.

"Where are mom and dad?"

"You're up early, sweetheart….they're still out hunting. They'll be here in plenty of time to drive to school."

Unbelievably pleased with my luck, I replied "Ok, Grandma, would you please just let them know that I went in a little early with Aunt Alice to organize my locker?"  
"Alright, Ness….hope today is a better day. Remember that fate has a way of intervening and helping things work out the way they should. " She said with a smile.

Just slightly confused by her reply, I kissed her goodbye and ran out to the waiting car. As we turned out of our driveway and onto the highway. I could tell Alice wanted me to talk to her about what I was thinking, but she never asked. I used the time to mull over what I had planned for the day.

As we pulled into the mostly empty lot, I kissed them both on the cheek and thanked them.

"See you guys later" I started to climb out of the car.  
"Ness, wait….I don't know why no one's talking about the giant Indian in the room, but I think we should, don't you?"

"Auntie, what can I say? I almost fell over when I saw him. Don't you remember what it was like for me when he suddenly wasn't around anymore? Since yesterday, my brain has practically overheated trying to make sense of things. I KNOW you guys have all kept things from me, I KNOW staying away from me wasn't his choice, and I KNOW my dad was behind it. Up until yesterday, I went along quietly, not knowing I had a choice. As of today, no more." I had tried to be calm as I explained this, but my voice seemed to raise a bit with each word.

The look on her face told me I was right, and that she felt bad about how things had been. She pulled me into a big hug and whispered "I'm sorry, my sweet girl. No one was sure of the right thing to do, but I knew that that wasn't the right way to handle things. I'm here for you to talk to, and I'll help you through this however I can."

"I know I can count on you, and I promise to talk to you more about it later." I replied quickly and rushed out of the car before she could delay me any further. Just knowing that I was in the same location as Jacob again did funny things to my heart (and stomach….), and I found myself speeding up into a run.

I made my way immediately into the office to accomplish the next part of my plan. As I passed through the doors, I noticed a wall of faculty bio's and once again rejoiced in my good luck. Each teacher had a small poster telling a little bit about them, including the classes they taught and any clubs they were in charge of. Studying Jacob's, I amended my plan and turned to walk up to the front desk.

Ten minutes later, I exited the office satisfied with the outcome of my discussion with the secretary. Seeing that I still had twelve minutes before the first bell rang, I jogged down to the gym, filled with nervous anticipation.

The door to his office was open and the light on. I heard voices inside and started across the gym floor towards them. I peered around the corner and my jaw dropped at what I saw. In addition to Jacob and Seth that I had seen yesterday, Embry was also in the office. All talk stopped when they saw me, and we all stared at each other for a long moment.

A slow smile spread over Jacob's face. "Hey Ness…it's like a Forks reunion, hey?"

"Wow, I still can't believe it. Hey, Embry. How long have you guys been here?"

"This is just our second year" Jacob replied quickly.

"Jacob, do you think we could talk a bit before school starts?" I asked.  
"Sure thing. Guys, I'll talk to you at lunch, kay?"

Seth and Embry started to file out, when suddenly Seth turned around and picked me up in a huge bear hug. "I'm sorry, Ness, I'm just so happy to see you here!" He spun me around and put me down, only to have Embry pick me up and do the same thing. "Me too, little Ness…..you're sure a sight for sore eyes" he said, looking directly at Jacob as he did.

"Out, guys….we'll talk later" Jacob commanded.

As they left, Seth turned around to pull the door closed behind him. Jacob turned to me "Well, those two chuckleheads got a hug this morning, do I?" I smiled up at him and opened my arms. He pulled me in for a quick embrace, then pulled back stiffly, a funny look on his face. Determined to not get upset, I didn't react to the change in his demeanor. I'm not gonna lie, I was really hoping for one of those pick-me-up-spin-me-around hugs from Jacob, too. _Sigh…._

"So, you wanted to talk to me?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah…..um…well, it's just that…" Suddenly, my confidence deserted me. I was so sure of how I was going to handle this, but looking up at him in this tiny room, I felt myself floundering.

"Ness, I can hear your heartbeat fluttering a mile a minute…...No matter how much time has passed, I hope you still know you can tell me anything."

I did know that, but still couldn't put into words just exactly what I wanted to tell him. It felt like such an important moment and I didn't want to wreck it. As the silence lengthened, I mentally screamed at myself to say something, _anything_. It was starting to feel awkward. Desperate to end the painful and uncomfortable silence we'd slipped into, I blurted out "I love you, Jake!"

_Dammit! Not what I'd planned to lead with…._


	15. Chapter 15

_Crap, crap, crap!...ok, how do I come back from that? I cannot believe I blurted that out…_

_Not that it wasn't true, but judging from the look on Jacob's face, my timing could've been better. I'd forgotten for a moment that he hadn't been privy to the internal dialogue I'd been wrapped up in over the last day and therefore didn't know where my head was._

"Um, sorry…what I meant to say was that I've really missed you and that I really need to talk to you about the last few years." I tried to reassure him, hoping he'd just let the whole 'love you' thing go.

"You love me?" He exclaimed.

_Damn, knew I wouldn't get out of that so easy. _"Well, of course I do…you were a big part of my childhood."

"Oh, right…yeah….." he trailed off quietly.

"It's just that…I'm not sure where exactly to go from here, but I have a few ideas. I tried to talk to my parents last night, but that did NOT go well. I was hoping you'd be more honest with me."

"Ness, I'll never lie to you. You can ask me anything. I really don't want to freak you out, but I need you to know that I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you never walk out of my life again. I really don't care who it pisses off or offends…."

Smiling, I reached out and grasped his hand. I allowed some of the emotions I was feeling at that moment to flow through to him so he would know how happy I was to reconnect with him. The look of pure joy that covered his face made my heart clench.

"I really don't care if my dad gets upset, either, but I do care that you don't get in trouble with your job…If people see us spending time together here, will that be a problem for you?"

"Here's the thing, Ness…I can't bring myself to care…. If you could just understand how empty my life has been since the last time I saw you in Forks, you'd see that I can't allow anything to keep me from you. We'll keep things as covert as possible…. But I have to keep talking to you…."

I'm not gonna lie…I was really happy to hear him say that, and I couldn't help the smile that crept on my face. The apprehension I'd felt when I first saw him was pretty much gone now, replaced with the sheer bliss at having him back in my life, anticipation at rebuilding our relationship, and a twinge of anxiety at the fear that something will happen to snatch him from me again.

"I went into the office this morning and switched my schedule around a bit. I noticed on the schedule outside your door that you didn't have any classes for 3rd or 4th period, so I switched to a study hall for 3rd hour and 4th hour falls during my lunch…I was hoping that we could meet sometimes to talk….."

I was pretty confident that he'd be on board, but still waited nervously for his reply. I knew how I felt about having him back in my life, and I knew what he said he felt about it, but I still didn't want to seem too pushy.

"YES! That would be great…can you meet me here today during your study period? I'll give you a pass to say you're helping me with a project on the computer or something…."

"Sure, coach" I smirked…"I'll see you then."

Knowing the bell was about to ring, he wrapped me up in a quick hug and ushered me through the door as he assured me that he couldn't wait to see me later.

Phew….I felt oddly relieved as I strolled toward my locker, even though I knew I really hadn't had any reason to be nervous about seeing him. All I could think about as I dodged bodies making my way down the hall were memories of my childhood with him. I can't believe I ever felt resentment towards him that first day, since my emotions now had swung in the completely opposite direction. Along with the intense connection that had reemerged toward him, I was aware of something else. Something deeper. When I was around him, I was hyper aware of his presense; his physical appeal to me was intense and I found myself entranced by the sound of his voice. As inexperienced as I was, I was still pretty sure I knew what this was. I really liked him, and not as a playmate or caretaker anymore. I was anxious, yet excited to see how things would play out.

The one thing I did know was that I wasn't going to let my family screw things up again. Jacob seemed in agreement with my plan to spend time together and get to know each other again, that had been my biggest worry. As for the family, at least I knew grandma was on my side, and I think Alice and Jasper were, too.

I settled into my 1st hour class just as the late bell started ringing, nearly oblivious to what was going on around me. Another perk to my advanced home schooling was that I didn't really need to pay close attention to be able to follow along and answer the teachers questions.

First and second hours went by quickly, mostly because I spent the entire time daydreaming. I wasn't outright rude, but I made it known that I wasn't in the mode to talk to my family members, so they left me alone. Before I knew it, it was time for 3rd hour.

I made my way to the library where my study hall was located and presented the teacher with my pass to report to coach Black's office to help him enter with data entry for the individualized phy ed programs for each student.


End file.
